Beautiful stranger

It was my first time boarding a tram today (alone too!), and I love love LOVE how friendly and helpful the Aussies are.

I asked Lady #1 if I had to ring the bell before my stop, or will the tram stop by itself- and she proceeded to explain why I needed to ring it, warned me to be careful with the traffic while alighting the tram, then left me with a “good luck luv” and a smile.

I asked Lady #2 where Burwood East was, and she didn’t know- but she went all out on finding the answer for me, even if it meant asking Lady #3/Lady #4/Man #1/Man #2.

I love how it’s okay to be lovely towards strangers- even if they’re people you’ll never need to bring home for dinner, people you might never meet again in your life time.

Non-committed kindness is refreshing :)

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Yak yak

I don’t do much of the words regurgitation thing often anymore- I used to- but ever since after the camera came into the picture I realised how much more appealing visuals are compared to my thoughts (in other words, my writing is shite). But I have a question:-

Is it possible for two people to meet at a very young age and remain together forever? Li Tat’s aiming at that. As for me… I’d went through a couple of aholes to get to him, so I certainly don’t mind doing so.

That being said, will we last? We might have been together for only a short year plus, but I really think that we have gone as far as (or maybe further than) other long relationships- such as in love (ooh the big L word), emotions, family matters etc. I won’t be mentioning the other aspect as some people do get iffy at the mention of s star x.

My imagination’s rather wild, I have thought about myself being in a certain spot- I’m on a yacht, in a LBD while sipping bubbly… and there are tons of gorgeous men flocking around me. If one comes onto me, what do I say?

“I’m taken, sorry”

Because I DO want Li Tat forever. I foresee him making me happy, and hopefully vice versa. I don’t see him well, beating me and making me stay home with the kids… though it might just be the other way round… I’m kidding, future in laws! Ha! Ha. Ha.

But I am also open towards the possibility of one of us finding a better partner. I suppose if Li Tat wants out for someone whom he sees he’ll have a better future with, I’ll be obliged to send him on his way… Who am I kidding?! I’ll hunt her down with a knife… a rusty knife.

Umn, so. Forever ever after… does it exist?

Current Mood: curious

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Protected: Emo ‘bbish

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Like yesterday

Awoke at 6:30am as we were heading over to Sg Buloh to pray for my late Porpor. Seeing my cousins’ solemn faces made me realise with a pang how much they’ve grown- how much WE’VE grown.

I started reminiscing about the nonsense we got up to during Chinese New Year at the grandparents’ when we were little… Cycling in circles around the courtyard while the older cousins handed out toll booth tickets (torn up pieces of newspapers); scribbling on photo albums (books) with the back end of combs (quills) while playing laoshi or rather teacher-teacher; having prim and proper tea parties while daintily sipping Chinese Tea and primly peeling up Mandarin oranges; harassing the poor ice-cream man to dig deeper into his frozen icebox for the frozen lollies; trawling the tiny town on foot in the blazing sun to get sweets; graduating to hardcore gambling and rm4.50-an-hour Cyber Cafes when we were older… no more.

Bittersweet. Even if it’s for the good, everything’s changing a tad too fast…

So little time
Try to understand that I’m
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody’s changing
And I don’t feel the same.

On an unrelated note, waking up this early makes me feel as though there are more hours in a day! I still have about two hours or so to laze about/attempt at something productive before I head off for work (work!) with Tat.

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yak

I really do think that if my brain was a hamster on an exercise wheel it would be a hamster juiced up with steroids. And pre-dunked in coffee. Even after I’m tucked cosy in my bed with my eyes squeezed shut and the world tilting and twirling under the darkness of my eyelids, I feel as though my brain never ceases to whirr. What will we do tomorrow? Maybe go for a run. But I like running on the treadmill better, no sun. Sun’s killing my fairy tree… trampoline jumping. Even after I’m asleep my brain decides to play tricks on me as though it’s sulky that I’d abandoned it for rest by inserting the most random people into my dreams and causing me to wake with one prominent thought- what the F.

There’s one thing I’ve mulled over for years (ever since I was seven, to be precise), and that is what if the world was a stage and the people I know are players? Maybe it’s God’s little joke to throw tiny me into a sea of madness and maybe my mother wasn’t my mother but just an actress who plays my mother complete with years worth of running script (that will explain how she sees through my charade of lies every. bloody. time). But why me? Why not say, you? I remember battling between letting my primary three best friend in on the conspiracy yet being afraid the universe would halt and I would be destroyed as ‘the act would be up’. I remember finally whispering it to her then clamping my hand over my mouth once the speech bubble dissipated. I remember nothing significant happening after that. I remember being relieved and still being careful with whatever that floated inside my mind lest someone or anyone reads it. Till now I punctuate mean thoughts with a sorry and I didn’t mean that honest. Just in case, and leaning more heavily on karma.

I need sleep. Let me rephrase that- I need dreamless sleep.

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